Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Candles are, like, so passe!

In honor of the lovely Kristen Bell's 26th birthday (felicitations, Kristen!), I present 26 of my favorite Veronica quotes. It occurs to me that not all of these quotes read that funny; it's a tribute to Kristen's awesome delivery that they all come off smart and snappy onscreen.

Let me know if you've got a favorite!

1. "I mean, if it's as big as you say, I'll be your girlfriend. We could go to prom together!"
2. "You wanna know how I lost my virginity? So do I."
3. "Just as God made me."
4. "Sometimes people find it very difficult to say no to me."
5. "I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning."
6. "Just be glad I don't flip my hair. I'd own you."
7. "I have that exact same platitude-a-day calendar at home. It's how I know beauty comes from within."
8. "I could write down that I met Kid Rock every weekend at the Hedonism Lodge for sensual massage and smoothies, but that doesn't make it true."
9. "You must feel really safe at night, when the dragons come."
10. "If you want people to leave you alone, Mandy, or better yet, treat you with respect, demand it. Make them."
11. "It's all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass."
12. "I bet on you, and I lost. I've been doing that my whole life. And I'm through."
13. "What are you saying, you're not pretty?"
14. "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?"
15. "I remember that summer. He was a roadie for White Snake, I was singing backup for Boyz II Men."
16. "The only way I'd ever make two grand in a week working at the Hut is if they installed a pole."
17. "You know sometimes, when I'm feeling a little, I don't know, glum, I like to get a little Pirate love."
18. "You're here for your looks. Why don't you leave the heavy thinking to me, sugarpants. Now go make yourself pretty."
19. "Because saving your ass with comment, it just...it works better for me."
20. "So when you rented The Thomas Crown Affair, McQueen, or Brosnan?"
21. "And if it were in, say, Maine, I'd be excited. But it's in Neptune, so I'm not excited. I'll go, but just to skip school, which excites me."
22. "You undercounted the sassy."
23. "Think back eighteen years: small, blonde, baby. Born ready."
24. "Dancing around in your underwear with the curtains open is always good. And if you're in chat rooms, and they suggest meeting face to face, do it in an abandoned railroad car down by the river side."
25. "You'd have the cops crawling all over you. Right? What do you think, Madison?"
26. "Easygoing Veronica Mars. That's what the kids at school call me."

May she live to be 100! (And may the show generate sufficient quotage to mark that milestone.)


At 6:17 AM, Blogger jonas said...

I dunno why this line makes me laugh as hard as it does because it's not funny at all except her delivery.

"Ooh tell me more about this band dork."

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Joobie said...

It's the delivery entirely. I could've done a whole list of lame quotes KBell saves with her awesome delivery, but maybe another time.

At 3:23 PM, Blogger Abbey said...

I love VM/KB. I can even imagine some of the quotes as they are delivered in the show. Such sweet attitude. She's my hero...well, next to Suzanne Sugarbaker.

BUT! I'm a little saddened by her Jessica Simpson pose. I want a little more sass and a LOT less, "Heeeey Big Boy, check out this fine piece of ass."


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