Friday, July 14, 2006

TV Boyfriends: Ari Gold

He's brash, he's assertive, he's acerbic. He's the guy you love onscreen but that would be torturous to date. He's Ari Gold.

Life with Ari would be a challenge, at best. But it might just be worth it because this Hollywood super-agent has what he wishes all his clients had: it. You know what I mean? That spark, that drive, that magnetism that makes him impossible to forget. Would you be offended if he tried to end an argument by asking you to "hug it out, bitch"? Definitely. Would spending a significant amount of time with him drive you to homicide? Maybe. But before the bitter end, he'd probably be a lot of fun.

Reasons I'd be happy to pledge my undying loyalty to Ari:

- He is harsh but fair. He expects the best from you as well as from himself. Just see if you can pass the interview.

- He'll stop at nothing to make you happy. Your stress is his stress. Your success is his success. Do you want Mandy Moore maligned in the papers? Pushed off your current project? Killed? He'll do it.

- He insults because he loves. At least, that's what Lloyd tells himself.

- He's a sweet-talker: "We're gonna dent that headboard. No bullshit. I guarantee you! You will not walk right tomorrow." Who wouldn't be seduced by that?

- He's pretty. Really! Great suits, great skin.

- Any guy that will dance with you to Stevie Wonder, in the middle of the night, on the sidewalk in front of your house, when he's drunk and at his lowest, and somehow make it seem charming, has my vote.

The fact that Ari is played by Jeremy Piven is no small coincidence. I've been a Piven groupie for years, back when he was on Rob Thomas' other genius show, Cupid. (The fact that Cupid isn't on DVD is a crime.) From an interview with TV Guide, Piven seems like an intelligent, honest guy, quite different from his character. Still, he's got Ari down to an art, as the recent Emmy nomination proves.


At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Chris Evans said...

I'm so fucking in love with Jeremy Piven. Or...wait this is confusing. Maybe I'm in love with Ari. I really don't know. But either way--I'm in love.

At 12:47 PM, Blogger Joobie said...

Don't question the love. Just embrace it.

At 3:54 PM, Anonymous GMMR said...

I'm so right there with you on this TV boyfriend. I have loved the Pivs for a long time now.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Joobie said...

The Pives is where it's at. Ari himself might be a bit to take on, but the Pives for sure would be a worthwhile man friend.

At 11:10 AM, Anonymous TheNextKristin said...

One word of warning: the Piv probably wouldn't accept your undying loyalty. He moves too fast. Regardless of that, I'm chiming in to say that I love him too.

And I loved Cupid too! You rock.


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