Friday, August 18, 2006

TV Boyfriends: Michael Scofield

Other that the whole 'my pregnant girlfriend is going to marry some dickweed while I chill in prison' thing, Sucre is one lucky guy. Why? Because he gets to spend night after night in a cell with Michael Scofield. There are worse ways I can think of to spend one's time. Even if you are, in fact, "doing time," I wouldn't call that "hard time."

Reasons why I wouldn't describing sharing a cell with Michael as punishment:

- He's loyal. Once he cares about you, he considers it a duty to take care of you. And if he does something to hurt you, he'll do his best to make it up to you, even if that involves incarceration. As Wentworth says in this clip, he'd like to believe Michael has a plan to go back and make things right with Sara.

- Three words: Low latent inhibition. This is a guy who's so intelligent and perceptive, he pays attention to everything. Just think if he paid that much attention to you! He'd be great at giving presents, beyond just the standard origami roses everyone's handing out nowadays.

- He's inventive. You wouldn't get bored with Michael. No sirree. Nor would you have trouble solving problems. If anyone can find a solution to a difficult problem, it's this guy.

- I'm generally not a tattoo person, but how can you object when it's so creatively constructed? Or when the wearer is so lean and shapely? You can't.

- Michael's a good enough kisser to make you forget about career and moral obligations. Observe, then take the first of several cold showers.

- The man knows the meaning of follow-through. Neither blocked walls, nor butchered toes, nor Bellick will keep him from getting what he wants. If what he wants is you, rejoice! (Or OD on heroin, whatever frosts your cake.)

As for Michael's portrayer...I can forgive him his foray into Mariah Carey videos and his spot as a Buffy punk. He's named after a Jane Austen character, after all! And he draws cartoons! He's a keeper.


At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You left out the most important thing -- those eyes!!! Plus, there's something about him that reminds me of a panther.


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