TV and Sympathy

Saturday at spud central

Ah, Saturday night. The night when normal young people go out on the town to indulge in some good natured revelry and relaxation after a long work week. I could be out conquering the world, of course, but I've got a cold so it's a fair bet that I'll be couch-bound. What movies can my fellow couch potatoes look forward to tonight?

Deep Blue Sea (6PM, TNT): Super-intelligent sharks battle/consume the scientific team at their underwater research facility. But do the sharks have lasers? Because every animal deserves a warm meal.

Uptown Girls (6PM, ABC Family): Brittany Murphy does her best to make viewers like her in this heartwarming tale of a spoiled rich girl learning life lessons from the kid she's forced to babysit. Unfortunately, she fails with this viewer.

Pretty Woman (8PM, ABC): This baby corners like she's on rails.

The One (8PM, FX): Jet Li fights his alternate selves in this Jungian fable exploring the darkness...oh, who am I kidding? I don't really care what the movie is about. I only care that it has Jason Statham, the object of many a man-crush.

The Firm (8PM, Bravo): See Tom Cruise before he got creepy! Heck, Wilford Brimley is creepier than Tom in this movie! It's a win-win!

Something's Gotta Give (9PM, CBS): Keanu Reeves and Jack Nicholson romance playwright Diane Keaton in this film targeted to baby boomers. I can think of more than a few ladies from any age group that wouldn't mind being the cream filling in a Keanu-Jack sandwich.

Now that I've sufficiently grossed you out, I'll leave you to your television.

posted by Veltman @ 11:07 AM